Monday, July 14, 2008

Ouch!

I feel like I need to start this post with a couple of disclaimers;

First, unlike my kidlets...I get nervous. I get nervous whenever I audition for anything, and I get nervous when I talk or sing in front of people that I can see and that I know. So, If I am on stage, I don't get nervous because I can't see the people and if I know the people it is okay, because I can't see them.

Second, it has been at least ten and a half years since I have sung a solo in church. TEN AND A HALF YEARS! I have sang in the choir, and in groups, but no solo.

So...needless to say...when a lady from my mom's ward called me and ask me if I would sing in their sacrament meeting I was a little apprehensive, I even told her that I hadn't done it in years, and I was nervous, but I still told her yes! ARGH.

Ever since Sunday afternoon when I sang, I have not been able to stop thinking about the nightmare. It truly was HORRIBLE, I am so embarrassed. I sang one of my favorite hymns, "Where can I turn for peace?" I found a really beautiful arrangement and a fantastic accompanist. Okay, I was so nervous, I was shaking. I started off a little shaky, but I was feeling okay after the first couple of measures, but then...the second verse, not the melody in this arrangement, I thought I could do it, but boy did I struggle, I kept going flat. Crap. Luckily it was only one verse, but....since I was so shook up about how horribly I had just done, I was shaking like a leaf. Wow, was I glad when that was over!

I got down to the kidlets and we left, my mom and dad had to leave to. When we got out to the car, Teague said "Mom, you sounded really pretty the first time, but you weren't very good the second time!" The "first time" he was referring to would be when I got there early to practice. I said, "Oh....I know!" Then Of course my sweet little Piper trying to make it all better said, "You sounded really really good the first time and you just sounded good the second time!"

Oh, the honesty of children. At least I know that I sounded bad, at least I wasn't wandering around thinking how fabulous I just was when in reality it stunk....I KNOW it stunk! I have a feeling they won't be asking me to sing again anytime soon. And, you know...I'm totally okay with that.

9 comments:

Tiffany said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure it wasn't bad at all. Kids and their honesty! At least your daughter doesn't tell you when she is 4 years old to stop singing because it isn't on-key!!! Or more recently, I made a cake for my sister-in-law that didn't look good and my daughter said, "least you tried." Kids...

Valerie said...

Kudos to you for blogging about your experience. I don't know what to say to make you feel better except that I know you do have wonderful talents in singing and acting.

Queen Mother said...

You know what they say, "You're always your own worst critic." I bet you were better than you think! You are brave to give it a shot-I wouldn't even try!

Delynn said...

We have a joke at our house when someone does a crapy job at something, we say, "nice try." I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think. Oh, well how often do you see those people anyway. Besides, your family still loves you, and so do I.

Mark VH said...

I also find it strange that when doing a solo, I can be extremely nervous. But doing a duet is not a problem at all.

No worries, Gus. At least it wasn't your own ward. :)

Karlyn said...

oh.....I haven't heard "gus" forever!!

Thanks for that! I miss it!

Christa said...

I have the same issue with singing in front of people, especially people I can see. I don't even know how I get up to bare my testimony every few months, because I am terrified the entire time. I am sure though that it was not as horrible as you think.

Michelle said...

Hey at least you got up there and tried. I am sure that it was much better than you say. My husband loves to sing and they invited the family to sing. I laughed right out loud. Needless to say John will do all of the singing for us.

Jen said...

Don't you love the honesty of kids! They always know what to say to make us feel better, don't they!!?? At least they give us something to laugh about.