Ouch!

I feel like I need to start this post with a couple of disclaimers;

First, unlike my kidlets...I get nervous. I get nervous whenever I audition for anything, and I get nervous when I talk or sing in front of people that I can see and that I know. So, If I am on stage, I don't get nervous because I can't see the people and if I know the people it is okay, because I can't see them.

Second, it has been at least ten and a half years since I have sung a solo in church. TEN AND A HALF YEARS! I have sang in the choir, and in groups, but no solo.

So...needless to say...when a lady from my mom's ward called me and ask me if I would sing in their sacrament meeting I was a little apprehensive, I even told her that I hadn't done it in years, and I was nervous, but I still told her yes! ARGH.

Ever since Sunday afternoon when I sang, I have not been able to stop thinking about the nightmare. It truly was HORRIBLE, I am so embarrassed. I sang one of my favorite hymns, "Where can I turn for peace?" I found a really beautiful arrangement and a fantastic accompanist. Okay, I was so nervous, I was shaking. I started off a little shaky, but I was feeling okay after the first couple of measures, but then...the second verse, not the melody in this arrangement, I thought I could do it, but boy did I struggle, I kept going flat. Crap. Luckily it was only one verse, but....since I was so shook up about how horribly I had just done, I was shaking like a leaf. Wow, was I glad when that was over!

I got down to the kidlets and we left, my mom and dad had to leave to. When we got out to the car, Teague said "Mom, you sounded really pretty the first time, but you weren't very good the second time!" The "first time" he was referring to would be when I got there early to practice. I said, "Oh....I know!" Then Of course my sweet little Piper trying to make it all better said, "You sounded really really good the first time and you just sounded good the second time!"

Oh, the honesty of children. At least I know that I sounded bad, at least I wasn't wandering around thinking how fabulous I just was when in reality it stunk....I KNOW it stunk! I have a feeling they won't be asking me to sing again anytime soon. And, you know...I'm totally okay with that.